Where I've Been
or
Why I Hate You All
by Jamin.

I recently posted the first deviation I've done in a long time.

When I first came to DA several years ago, I just sort of lurked around and downloaded stuff. Then I got an image-editing program (the name of which I won't mention, since it sucks so much). I posted a couple things, and hoped that people would like them and comment on them, and generally make me feel loved. Awhile after that I got Photoshop (thank god), and made some more things and posted them. But people weren't viewing my deviations, weren't commenting on them, and weren't making me feel loved. At first I chalked this up to the fact that I was a new user and no one knew me yet. Then I realized that I just wasn't all that good.

Upon realizing that fact, I became rather jaded with DA. In the first place, people weren't giving me love. In the second place, I knew I wasn't very good, and decided that it was probably better to go back to just lurking. Lord knows I didn't want to be like every other no-talent loser who posts their sketches and doodles they made while they should have been paying attention in math class, and their crappy photo compilation "wallpapers" of lens flares superimposed over Britney Spears.

Rather than post art to DA, I just posted art to my own site. The people that visit my site are mostly my real-life friends, and they all love me, so it doesn't really matter how many crappy images I post there. As far as I was concerned, DA turned back into just a place to download cool wallpapers (you know... those kind that take more than ten minutes to make, and actually show some sort of artistic talent... those are great, aren't they?).

Then today I realized something else: I don't care anymore. And most likely it'll still be another six months before I post anything else here again. But hey, I just don't give a rat's ass. Stuff should be about stuff, not about people's opinion of stuff, and not about people talking about stuff. (Bloody hell, that was deep.)

Everything I make, isn't necessarily about trying to be good. It's just me trying to take up time that would otherwise be spent doing things I probably shouldn't be doing. Therefore, if whatever I do happen to post up here isn't as good as some of the other stuff that gets posted by people with familiar names, I don't give a damn.

You go away now.

---Jamin